4.01.2009

Google to Bail out General Motors
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One of those web rumors ricocheting around the Internet Economy today...

Google to buy GM?

In a surprise press conference today a White House spokesperson announced that as part of the government rescue of the auto industry, General Motors may be sold to Google (*see note 1 below).

In the face of much political controversy about the ballooning Federal deficit, it seems that Google has stepped in to assist in the transition of the auto industry to a new business model.

It is thought that Google has several new product initiatives ready for the GM acquisition including:

* Auto-AdSense - dashboards of all GM cars will henceforth include a small central panel devoted to Google advertising;
* Enhanced local search - connection to the car's GPS unit will allow location-sensitive search results to be presented to drivers and passengers in real-time;
* In-GPS video ad-streaming from YouTube linked to addresses entered into the system by drivers.

The new GM cars, "powered by Google", will also enable integration with Google's other offerings such as Google Earth and Google Street View. A new "person-search" will allow users worldwide to locate any GM car instantly and watch it via Google StreetView while also being able to see any planned GPS route (*see note 2 below).

"Google has pioneered the free advertising-supported business model in many sectors," Google representative April Papanatas said today. "Advertising-supported autos are simply the next step."

Notes:

1. Google is not buying General Motors.
2. This is not true.
3. This news dispatch dated April 1st, 2009.

(reprint from mTHink/Revenue Magazine email)


Alas, this is not as good as Google's autospam responders, a new attachment to GMAIL, totally cool....


Yes, Prince Mohenjo-Daro, I would like to receive the sum of U.S. SEVENTEEN POINT TWO ($17.2) MILLION DOLLARS, in the form of gold kruggerands and platinum ingots squirreled away by your long lost uncle, former Education Minister Akili Mohenjo-Daro, when he unfortunately and accidentally slipped and fell from a helicopter while touring the site of a new school to be built by the UN and clean development funds collected by the high-priest Bollabol, before he tragically fell into a rice harvester after slipping on an agglomeration of children's marbles. I voluntarily am providing you with my SSN, all of my bank wire transfer numbers and a notarized power of attorney signifying that you can do whatever you want, my address, and favorite colors. I acknowledge in advance that my share is 45% of the proceeds and will let you keep 55% in my accounts because I want to help you out so much. Also, I am sending you a wire in advance and two round trip plane tickets to Tahiti.

/s/ gratified and grateful



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