Klaatus Excellent Adventure

Let's see. Tom Cruise blowing up Hitler or Keanu Reeves in a matrix-ish remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still. The latter.

It just so happens the answer to life, the universe and everything is revealed under the golden arches of mickey D's. Who'd have thought? Reeves never really gets accustomed to his human form, having been deposited from a glowing, cumulonimbus orb in Central Park in a gelatinous case filled with mucus membrane. When its clear that the orb and its orb colleagues are a doomsday device and a series of arks that will initiate a cleansing of the earth by blotting out people because of their fossil fuel consumption, like the unceremonious axing of a poorly-rated TV pilot, scientist-babe Jennifer Connelley tearfully begs Klaatu to have a heart just as all is lost.

"We can change. We'll go to rehab," she sobs.

But sending a plague of metal locusts, Klaatu's heart was hardened. "It might be too late," he says gravely.

Then, moved by her contrition and the trenchant soliloquy of Nobel prize winning physicist John Cleese while Klaatu dangles him head first out of a building window, who entreats...

"Yes, I'm dreadfully sorry. We sincerely and completely apologize. Our behavior was reprehensible."

Klaatu and the collective brain ponder things.

"D...u....u....u...d....d...d...e...e....." I guess you humans can change, after all. "A..w..e...s...o...m...e."

Then he blinks out. Earth is saved.

Yes, the same Keanu Reeves who started out in film/hip-hop mogul Ted Field's production of Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Note: A small amount of creative license was taken in the description of le films' events to protect the innocent. :-)

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