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As Imbibed by the Scorpion King.

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Formerly, the Scorpion King was a University of Miami linebacker from Hayward, California named Dwayne Johnson.



The reason he was called this is because the early, proto-literate rendering of his assumed name was a scorpion hieroglyph, and was depicted on a stone engraving, supposedly as the king of Upper (southern) Egypt around 3100 B.C.

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Bust of Maximinus
"Summer 238...Maximinus led out his entire army and crossed the bridge (over the Rhine) fearlessly, eager to do battle with the Germans. Under his command was a vast number of men, virtually the entire Roman military force, together with many Moorish javelin men and Osrhoenian and Armenian archers; some were subject peoples, others friends and allies, and included, too, were a number of Parthian mercenaries and slaves captured by the Romans.

This enormous force was originally assembled by Alexander, but it was increased in size and trained for service by Maximinus. The javelin men and archers seemed to be especially effective against the Germans, taking them by surprise, attacking with agility and then retreating without difficulty....He threatened (and was determined) to defeat and subjugate the German nations as far as the ocean..."

so begins Herodian in Book VII, Chapter 2 of the "History of The Roman Empire since the Death of Marcus Aurelius". He is sometimes regarded as a third-rate source, little consulted by modern researchers as his statements have been considered prone to a rhetorician's hyperbole.

But that may change, since a major archaeological discovery was announced this week in Germany - the remains of an ancient battlefield found atop a pine-covered hill, along with an enormous quantity of arrowheads and hundreds of bolts from scorpions, a mechanical torsion catapult that hurled a large, spear like projectile. Other objects recovered include hobnails from leather boots, coins, spear points, chest-rings worn by centurions as a sign of rank, weapons including iron axeheads and pieces of armor and horse shoes. Formal excavations will not start until Spring of 2009, and the site was found by amateurs with metal-detectors, not archaeologists.

DNA is recoverable from some of the arrowheads and bolt-heads so this will provide clues as to the genetic identity of the peoples involved, pending analysis and publication.


tennis balls mark the location of each artifact

The site is hundreds of miles north of the known borders of the Roman empire but the early efforts to date the location place it in the first half of the 3rd century, between 200 and 250 C.E., so Herodian was quite possibly accurate in his observation. 80% of the projectile points were found pointing in the same direction, toward the apex of the hill known as Harzhorn in German, which apparently blocked the path of the Romans, who launched their missiles from the north. Due to the extensive and material nature of the discovery, it may be possible to recreate most of the battle based on archaeological evidence, which will be a historical first for an ancient battle.


Top: Iron projectile points | Bottom: Iron draft animal 'shoe'

With respect to Maximinus, who was reputedly of tremendous height (over 8 feet in one source) with an unusually prominent brow and jawline, some researchers speculate he suffered from acromegaly, a condition where the pituitary gland produces excessive amounts of HgH or human growth hormone. Among modern known cases include several professional wrestlers, actors, and the motivational speaker Tony Robbins.

Labels: archers, armenian, dna, herodian, maximinus, roman, scorpion